Part-Time Pundit

Hurricane Katrina: Louisiana Demoted to Federal Territory (satire)

Today during a special session of Congress legislation was passed and immediately signed by President Bush that demotes the former State of Louisiana to federal territory status. During the response to Hurricane Katrina, the local government left almost 500 buses unused, waited an additional 24 hours to order evacuation while President Bush begged them to get the people out, and over 2/3rds of the New Orleans Police Department abandoned their jobs and left the city in chaos.

“It is clear that the government of Louisiana and the city of New Orleans have completely failed their populations. In response to this complete collapse of government I have been forced to take decisive action to rectify the situation.”, said President Bush is a Rose Garden ceremony. Other officials expressed similar sentiments. Former Sen. Mary Landrieu was ushered out of the Capitol building after the vote as the area is no longer entitled to Senate representation. An unconfirmed report states that she had to be removed for threatening to punch her colleagues while she should have been working instead.

Department of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff stated that “it was clear from the response that Louisiana just can’t handle their own business so it became necessary to take over for them.” New Orleans has a long history of political corruption and as the hurricane stated to bear down on the city, Mayor Nagin was quoted as saying, “You want me to do something? I’m only the mayor; I’m just here to line my pockets!”

Federal agencies and offices were ordered to remove the current American flag and replace it with a flag that contained only 49 stars to signify the demotion of the Louisiana territory.

September 5th, 2005 Posted by John Bambenek | Hurricane Katrina, National, Politics, Satire | 4 comments

Harricane Katrina: Of 1500 New Orleans Cops, Less than 500 Didn’t Abandon the Job

Unbelievable… from a press conference.

Q: One quick follow-up. Is it fair to say, using the convention center as an example, that one reason it took until Friday to get aid in is the National Guard needed time to build up a response team with military police to ensure law and order because the New Orleans Police Department had degraded so much?

GEN. BLUM: That is not only fair, it is accurate. You’ve concisely stated exactly what was needed, and I told you why. We took the time to build the right force. The outcome was superb. No lives hurt, nobody injured. It was done almost invisibly.

Q: And you estimate there’s about a third of the New Orleans Police Department left. Do you remember about how many are in the New Orleans Police Department?

GEN. BLUM: On a normal day they should have 1,500 paid officers in New Orleans, give or take. Some people have said it’s 1,650. It’s in the rough order of 1,500-man police force, and I think the mayor told me they’re down to less than 500.

HT: Michelle Malkin

Know Your Rights

Know about the employment law at your job before you get yourself in a difficult legal situation. It’s best to do an attorney search before there are issues so you can find discrimination lawyers or other types of lawyers for your case.

September 5th, 2005 Posted by John Bambenek | Hurricane Katrina, Law / Legal Issues, Politics | 3 comments

Bambenek’s First Law

With the constant retort on those, usually from the Left, about “questioning my patriotism” and the use of the term “chickenhawk” (especially amusing when directed at a soldier) I believe it is time to elucidate the Internet on Bambenek’s First Law.

It states:

If during a political argument, one side interjects that they won’t have you questioning their patriotism when no such line of conversation takes place then they are, ipso facto, unpatriotic. If an individual has to spout resume bullet points to “prove” they are patriotic they are, ipso facto, unpatriotic. If an individual tries to prove their patriotism by attacking the character of their opponent with terms like “chickenhawk”, then they are, ipso facto, unpatriotic.

Now, when you are arguing with a leftie who apparently has no intelligent point except to attack you with epithets like “chickenhawk” and say that questioning their patriotism is out-of-line when you are doing on such thing, now you can invoke Bambenek’s First Law.

September 5th, 2005 Posted by John Bambenek | Blogging, Politics, Satire | 2 comments